On Turning Forty (a Conversation and what We can learn from it).

A friend:

“Three out of four of my single friends – myself being one of them – broke down at their fortieth birthday because they hadn’t had kids yet. Biologically speaking, we had passed the time that a woman can have children without concern for undue complications.

But once you get pass all that you become really confident, as you realise that you just don’t care what people think anymore. Twenty-something’s look up to you. You’re old and wise – yeah! (Zee’s note: Forty is not old).

Sixteen to twenty-four was the worst time for me (Zee’s note: yuss! Only half a year to go!). The peer pressure is really high at that age – and it takes a long time to get away from that. Then, when you have kids, it starts all over again. You know: parents versus parents, and things that the children come home and ask for. I’m not susceptible to that –

I’m a wise old sage to people twenty-five years younger than me and I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me. It’s fantastic!”

I have friends that are older, younger and my own age. Each of them have things that make them special to me, and make them fantastic friends. I feel blessed every day to have each and every one of them, but there’s something in particular that I appreciate about my old(er) friends: they help me realise things that only time can otherwise teach you, things that sometimes you don’t even realise are happening to the extent of which they are,Β like peer pressure. All those things that other people are achieving, doing, or where they’re at in life (Facebook is terrible for this – remember we only see what people choose to display, we don’t see the cuts). What people have, who they’re hanging out with, what they’re listening to… It doesn’t really make a difference to your life, unless you let it, and that’s at the heart of self-confidence and self-worth.

Also, life is not a race to get married and have kids, nor is it a race to the top of the career ladder. Do what makes you happy, what makes your loved ones happy, and try to make the world a better place by making you a better person.

Make my day & comment with what you’re doing to be happy, stay happy, and make the world a better place. Links welcome.

10 thoughts on “On Turning Forty (a Conversation and what We can learn from it).

  1. Lovely post Zee & friend. Being closer to 40 than 30, and having a younger sister fulfilling the husband-&-kids scenario, I know what you mean. But I also know how sweet it is living in the present, with an eye to the future & it’s exciting dreams & possibilities. Age is only one letter away from sage; and it’s very definitely a state of mind, not a number πŸ™‚

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    1. Sheesh you don’t look it! Yes – an eye to the future, an appreciation for the past, and taking in everything about the present.

      Yes – age is something that we are starting to judge people on less, I think, and we can be as full of life as we wish to be at 16 or 106.

      Always good to hear from you x

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  2. My humble opinion: life isn’t about age at all. Being 31, I feel already that stress of the kids and the husband (who are missing, errr not there), because that’s what we should strive for right? Hell no! I think we should strive for being close to the heart, not letting other people interfere with our true message. The whole social media sphere is a blessing and a curse at the same time: we have more options to stay in contact with those who are not close, but at the same time it has become some sort of a race, like a live X Factor. Even in my career I am experiencing that doing what you love or moving towards that place sets so much free, it is exhilarating! So I wholly agree with you, I just think it might be more often seen with ‘older’ people but in the end it is not about age at all. ^_^

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    1. What I found interesting is that within a fortnight, I had three friends who had recently turned 40 tell me pretty much the same thing; it’s like 40’s some magic age.

      But you are absolutely right, and as I said to Amanda (comment above yours), I feel blessed that I have been able to learn some of these things at a younger age – learning from my own experiences as well as the experiences of others.

      And yes, it’s so easy to know that you’ve found the right path because it is truly freeing.

      Thanks for your comment, Anne – I always appreciate your input.

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  3. This is a good post. I feel blessed to have realized the important things in life at a young age. I feel like I got a head start to enjoy living. Things that make me happy are enjoying life in the here and now. I practice yoga, meditate and don’t live my life in past events or in hope of the future. Once I made those few changes to my life I began to really enjoy it and be happy helping others find their paths.

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    1. Thank you, Amanda. It’s wonderful to hear that! I too, feel blessed that I have the privilege of learning these things at a young age.

      Yoga is something I need to begin doing again, and though I don’t often meditate anymore, I agree in the value of it.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic. It is wonderful to hear from other people who have learnt to follow their own path, and are helping others to find theirs.

      Zee x

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  4. Forty is the new thirty! Actually the older I get, the more happy I become with my life. The irony being, the closer to complete happiness you get… the closer you are to dying.

    Hmm, just re-read that and it sounds a bit depressing.

    Happy happy happy!!!!

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    1. The closer you are to dying, the more you appreciate the time that you have now. It’s like last-minute productivity – the closer you get to the deadline for a project, the more you get done.

      (Okay, so it still has a bit of a depressing sound, but I think I can see what you’re getting at).

      Happiness is what it all comes down to in the end πŸ˜€

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