I can do this.

On Monday morning I woke up thinking, “I can’t do this.

I wasn’t referring to writing, or self-publishing, or work later in the day – just life. I felt like I couldn’t do life. Because life is HARD sometimes, and so we should be entitled to days where living goes into the impossible box (or at least, I think so).

Of course, validating my feelings didn’t change a thing (except me), and so I dragged myself out of bed, made a cup of tea, heated up last night’s dinner, and snuggled back into bed with my tablet to do some writing and chat on Twitter. I am so grateful to have an afternoon shift at work.

That’s when I found myself thinking, “I could so do this.”

This has been the first time I’ve truly thought I could write full-time. Not because I thought I’d never make enough moolah to live off (which I have thought, and, of course, is always a possiblity), but because I’ve always held that I’d go stir-crazy if I only wrote for the rest of my life.

I was wrong. I mean, I will keep painting, and working with children (I’d go insane if I couldn’t work with kids in one way or another), but I could be absolutely happy and content with being a full-time writer. The more I do it, the more I enjoy it.

And so, even though I’m in a slump right now (lots of factors at play, but I’m happy to say I am managing them), I also have a whole new drive for my writing career.

And now, with 600 words under my belt for today, it’s time to do some planning. Upwards and onwards!

13 thoughts on “I can do this.

    1. And even though we know it, we still hold ourselves back.

      Although, I was talking to an artist friend, who reckons that self-doubt just means that we’re really putting ourselves into the work – because if it wasn’t a risk, we wouldn’t be nervous.

      It’s comforting to know doubt may have a purpose!

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  1. I find that the only way to get over that slump feeling is to get up and do the little things that keep life moving along — things like you described. Then it gets the writing juices and positive energy flowing again. Keep writing! 🙂

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    1. Thanks, Travis! Having writerly – or other artsy-type – friends helps as well, cause they understand how it can feel sometimes 🙂

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  2. Keep up the good work, Zee. I know exactly how you feel. We just keep on with what we know are our own integral expressions. Keep writing, my friend. I will, too.

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    1. Your virtual hugs keep me going 🙂

      No, seriously, they do. Thanks for all your timely words of wisdom.

      We’ll keep writing, because that’s what we do. We don’t need any more reason than that, do we?

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  3. Awesome!! So pleased you’re finding your way, even on the rough days. You’re right – we are ALL entitled to those days. Life IS hard at times. Keep at it!

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  4. I hate those days when everything just seems to be on your shoulders before you even get up. A friend told me to think of all the positives I want out of the day before I get out of bed, then move into my day. It puts you in a better frame of mind and gives you a happy basis on which to start your day. Worth a try.

    And of course you can make it as a writer – you have talent and ability, and you want to share the stories you have. You can do it. x x

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    1. You always seem to have good ideas for getting through days like these, Karen. I really appreciate you sharing them. You make the world a better place 🙂

      We can do it! xx

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  5. Sometimes, I feel the exact same way! Some days I think I would love to be a full time writer, but then I realize that if I couldn’t interact with humans daily, I might go insane (plus for the next three years I HAVE to be the bread winner of the family). I have done a lot of introspection into my own life and have come up with a solution. It’s time to combine money making and my passions, it’s time for a career change. It might take a little bit of additional education, but I think I can have the best of both worlds – working and writing.

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    1. Sounds like some great times ahead, Amanda. I’m definitely planning on going back to university to study at some point (tossing up between furthering myself in Education or Psychology), and I love how much study stretches us to become better.

      Money has to be considered, of course, and if that money gives some human interaction and is something you actually enjoy, then it’s perfect!

      I do have a few friends who I can meet up with during the days, who have weird timetables like me, so I’m very fortunate in that respect. I also have a huge appreciation for you guys – the internet gives me a whole lot more human interaction than I would have if I’d been a writer, say, 20 years ago.

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