So last week, I achieved almost none of the goals I had set for myself. The only one I did manage was to go for a long walk. I’ve also started walking to work twice a week, on the days that I am at a centre 15 minutes away from me (I work at different centres all over Auckland – it keeps me on my toes!). So it’s been the week that wasn’t, and my goals will all be shifted forward a week, which is absolutely okay.
Having said that, walking was probably the most important goal, because it gave me fresh air, sunshine, exercise and those all-important endorphins. The second most important goal was to catch up on my beta reading, because that is a commitment to other people. I started doing that with some of my Wattpad library last night, and I am reading the rest of Catherine Mede’s novel today. I do want to do justice with my feedback, and low energy doesn’t translate well to good feedback.
I’ll hopefully be meeting up with artist friend Jane Thorne this weekend to discuss cover art and illustration options.
I’ve also started taking B-Vitamins, which are working fantastically (even if that’s just a placebo effect, I’m happy). I’m drinking less coffee and black tea, which is giving me headaches, but also drinking more St John’s Wort (mild anti-depressent) and Ginseng (energising) tea, as well as more water. I’m using Healtheries range of teas, which you can find here. They work a treat. (Health binges don’t seem to work with me, but I’m making small changes that will stick with me.)
Most of the lack of goal-reaching has come down to two things: energy and self-perception. I’m battling the energy problem through the vitamins, tea, and walks (I think the biggest factor is the lack of exercise in my lifestyle at the moment), as well as well as trying to eat more veggies and less sugar. As for the self-perception, some of it is about feeling like a bad friend, a bad teacher, a bad writer and just generally a worthless person. Having said that, I’m in a place where I can recognise that these are thoughts, not truths, so I have made much progress in the last year or so in this area. Go me!
I’m working on my self-worth through visualisations, listing things I am grateful for, and reflecting on the things I have achieved that were only goals a few years ago. I mean, I’m a writer! That’s something that – even in my dreams – was just a possibility.
Life is good, I just need to remind my brain of that sometimes. How do you deal with self-worth or motivation issues?